Welp, I picked up the sequel to the porn book Get In My Swamp, even after I gave it two stars out of five. I didn’t really hate the book or was even disgusted by it. If anything, if it didn’t have some glaring flaws, I maybe would’ve given it a recommended grade. The two star grade was an average of what worked and what I would’ve changed. I’d rather reread Get In My Swamp than some other books I’ve read that are better. Because of those reasons, curiosity got the better of me to read the sequel.
Long story short, the first book was about the unexpected meeting and falling in love of bride-to-be Liona and seven-foot tall ogre Beck. Liona was to be engaged to a business heir named Lawrence Farque, and Liona was grateful for all the accommodations that came with a boyfriend of significant wealth, but they weren’t in love. Then Liona went off, got caught in Beck’s trap, and rather than eat her or use a potion to erase her memory of the magical land Liona found herself in, Liona stayed and they fell in love. With plenty of making out. It’s revealed that several months have passed since Liona established Beck’s swamp as her new home, but they have had sex every single day since.
But one day, Liona gets a piece of blackmail, threatening to reveal the entire magical world, a well-kept secret for generations, if she doesn’t return to L.A. and become a bride again. So she has to head out, and Beck can’t follow with his whole green-skin sitch. But maybe there’s a potion that could fix that up. And maybe they won’t have to be apart for too long. Maybe they’ll be back making the beast before they know it.
There’s not much of a story or conflict here. Even with the threat looming over them, there is plenty of time, even in less than 200 pages, for some long and loving makeouts.
The biggest strength of this Playboy book is not the many sex scenes, but the fact Liona and Beck both clearly complete each other. They definitely don’t bicker, they certainly work together when it’s time to do chores, and if there were disagreements between them in the year they’ve been together, they’ve clearly figured things out without trying to one-up the other. Neither Liona or Beck gets worked up or unhappy about anything. There’s no cracks in their relationship. Maybe that’s a little unrealistic, but that doesn’t mean we don’t wish to be like them.
The makeout scenes are, as much as there are so many clogging up anything else, well written. And none of them are creepy since the two of them are now quite an established couple. I’m also glad that a character in the first book that was just nonsensical and bastardizing even by this genre’s standards was absent.
But back to what drags my grade down for me. As I said, not much of a conflict here. To the point where when something goes wrong, it’s wrapped up disappointingly easily. And I always roll my eyes at characters who take the time to make out and take their pants off in life or death situations. And this will probably not matter to anyone, but a character gets a surprise because of something that was happening over an extended period of time, and I couldn’t help but think, “You realize that that is possible when you do it the way you’ve been doing it? And if you really didn’t think that was possible, were you at all concerned in the past year with giving yourself a disease?”
Though I can’t give this book nor the first book more than two stars due to their thin plots, problematic side characters (Donny, Victoria and Lawrence) or overly silly moments, I do acknowledge the books do a very good job at sexual fantasy, primarily because it is a story with love and not just lust.
My grade: 2 stars out of 5
William J. McGinn 
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